I never expected to be here; I never thought that it would take so long to dissolve a family. But here I am - in the exact place I was nearly a year ago. No resolution to the sale of our former home, no legal changes to tie up loose ends. And no sign or hope of any resolution to any of this ever. I feel tied up and gagged, my wishes dismissed as always.
Never a big tv watcher, I would never have imagined that it has become the sound in my empty apartment. It doesn't demand anything - meals, laundry, clean sheets - but it doesn't offer anything either, other than noise, an inanimate "unfriendly friend."
This is not how I wish to live the remainder of my life, but in this case I have no choices. Only disappointments and sorrows.
My one wish today is to have my dog back with me but due to the fraying of the old carpeting and my pup's propensity to pull the frays and eat them, this too is not possible. She must live elsewhere.
I hug a rolled-up towel for comfort at night in my too quiet apartment and wait for another day - another hope for hope.
