A perfect day?

So often I judge my day by my fitness log. Did I write down every morsel of food that graced my lips? Did my daily calorie count stay under 1665? Did I exercise? Did I walk the dog to make her happy and give me a few more calories burned? Although I feel great satisfaction when I'm successful at all these points of rule, I really need to ask myself if this is really what makes it a perfect day.

I believe there is much more to my life than these parameters. Did I listen for the Lord? Was I diligent in serving my family and my employer? Did I invite the Lord to share my day with me? Did I spend time reading His Word so that I am better able to discern His will for my life? Did I help a family member or friend or neighbor in need? Did I make my prayer requests be known to Him? Did I share the Gospel with a desperate world?

Help me to remember Lord that life is much bigger, much better, than my personal checklist. Does the checklist for my health matter? Absolutely! But, is it my life? Definitely not.

Life is overwhelming sometimes; but God's grace endures

Some days there are just too many things on my plate (figuratively speaking, of course!). Every day presents a new opportunity to tackle the task list - my job, personal Bible study, work-outs, staying in touch with friends and family, praying, cooking and eating in a healthy manner, watering and weeding the flower beds, Rainbow responsibilities, mom responsibilities and wife responsibilities. And then let's add in reading (I refuse to relegate this one to the "not to do list"), cooking, dishes, laundry, shopping, cleaning and running Annie's taxi. Oh yes, and let's not forget the dog - brushing, walking, playing, bathing and feeding. No wonder I never have time to pluck my eyebrows or balance my checkbook. And believe me, I'm looking forward to Annie having her own car someday soon, much to Tim's dismay, I am sure.

But this is ALL about life - living, breathing, interacting, reflecting God's grace and mercy. Mine is a full life and I have many choices. Thankfully the good choices outweigh the bad choices and somehow it all works out okay - and that brings me back to God's grace and mercy. He promises to give me beauty for ashes, and believe me, I'm standing here waiting to make the exchange every day.

One step back, two steps forward

This journey of my life is some kind of winding road. Sometimes I feel like I am going in circles, taking harrowing hairpin curves that seem to put me back about where I started and yet as I look out over the landscape I do see the scheme - slow and steady steps keeping my eye on the prize, not the setbacks.

The prize is a life well-lived - remembering who I am in Christ and what that means in my every day decisions - be that coming to grips with disappointments in my life, building better relationships with those I love and those I should love, how I face the challenges of change, and of course, incorporating daily healthy habits to keep this body working at optimum.

I started this journey more than a year and a half ago and I so mistakenly envisioned that I would accomplish all my goals quickly and succinctly. After all, I'm one of those list-making girls who likes to check it all off and get on to my next list. Well, surprise surprise, my life has thrown me a curve ball and I'm still on the same list. And, I still have LOTS of weight to lose. But I must not count this journey as a failure but rather a learning process.

During the first year, I constantly told myself that with God's help I will get this weight off. Now I appear to be hedging my bets - just hoping I will get the rest of this weight off. Old fears revisit me constantly...what if I fail again, what if I gain it all back. I want to recapture that spark - that belief that my creator cares even about this and will walk each and every step with me.

A wise friend reminded me that the evil one wants to steal our joy and convince us we can be defeated. I choose, instead, to arm myself with the full armor of God and move forward into battle - the battle for wholeness of mind, spirit AND body.

Put on the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. Ephesians 6:1

It's okay to shift priorities

My year plus venture into a healthy lifestyle can be quite perplexing. While the first year was ALL about getting physically healthy, I'm seeing that this year is really about getting mentally and spiritually healthy. While this does not put the physical health piece completely out of the mix, I see it certainly is taking a back seat at this point, to a number of other issues that are arising.

Since the beginning of the new year, I have been so frustrated and mad at myself for not making more progress in my weight loss journey. Well, I am now beginning to see that before that next weight loss piece can be executed, I have to deal with some of the underlying issues that brought the weight gain on in the first place. And this is so very hard and scary, but oh, so necessary.

So while I'm figuring out step two, I am choosing to be content to maintain the weight loss I experienced last year with exercise and healthy choices. I guess I didn't realize I would need a road map for this journey. Silly me, thinking weight loss was all I needed.

In the meantime, I'm looking forward to the best summer ever with my family and my UU friends. Some of my goals for the summer include:

1. Have fun!
2. Exercise! Three times a week minimum and almost daily walks with Maizy.
3. Make wise food choices most of the time!
4. Consider purchasing a bike!
5. Take a road trip to Chicago and Indianapolis with Annie for a visit with Mom and my brother and his family.
6. Clean and purge my bedroom closet - time again to get rid of those big ol' things I will NEVER wear again. Thankfully!
7. Read some wonderful books for entertainment.
8. Plant my flowers and herbs and tend them daily.
9. Watch some great movies with Annie.
10. Have an attitude of gratitude for each and every thing in my life.

The plane was lighter on the return trip!

Geez - it has been forever since I've visited this site. And, I think my slump is over! But here is what's different this time around - my regular workouts continued throughout and I logged just about every bite of food I put in my mouth. And, I'm now back on the "losing" train. What a relief. I think maybe I just had to see if I could maintain the loss for awhile - and the good news is that I not only maintained, but even lost 2 pounds on our family vacation to California! Only 68 pounds to go!

The times they are a changin'

I never really cared at all for Bob Dylan's music (I think it's the rocks-in-the-mouth sound of his performance that just didn't do it for me), but this song is the best title for my post today.

Last night I felt crappy, achy, cold and cranky and decided that I was just going to "treat" myself with a burger and fries at Max and Erma's for dinner. I know it's been at least since February 2010 since I've done that. Annie and I arrived at the restaurant, settled into a booth and began to look over the menu. While a burger really did sound good and I had had every intention of ordering one, it was the Third Street Salad with grilled chicken that caught my eye and became my order. Really? Something healthy and good for me caught my eye and became my order? Well, yes, it really did; and it was delicious I might add.

So, I went home last night after dinner and didn't have to report that greasy burger and fries in my food log after all. Kinda scary - wanting and ordering what is good for me and my new and a bit leaner physique.

Yup, the times, they are a changin'!

11 months and counting

As I look back over the past 11 months, I am absolutely amazed at the changes in my life - changes for good. Some of those changes, though seemingly small to others, mean the world of difference in my life.

1. On many occasions, I am now shopping in regular sizes and petite sizes. WOW! My shoe size has even changed, folks!

2. I now can slide into the pews at church, as opposed to squeezing in.

3. I am no longer embarrassed to enter a room or walk across a crowded restaurant.

4. I can now do a somewhat modified version of a pull-up. Absolutely unthinkable.

5. I have been parasailing and loved it.

6. I can find something in ANY restaurant or kitchen that I can feel good about eating. NOTHING is off limits.

7. I have lost 70+ pounds.

8. I now take the stairs whenever possible as MY choice.

9. I really like working out - sometimes the "getting there" is difficult, but I'm so happy once I am there and feel so fulfilled when my workout is complete.

10. I love it when my daughter goes to the gym with me.

11. My blood pressure is now at the bottom of the normal range.

12. I like going to the doctor now - no fears of condemnation.

13. Change is easiest when completed in baby steps...and long lasting too!

14. I now easily fit in the school desks when at the high school for meetings, conferences, etc.

15. Serotonin needs MUST be fed and I now know how to do that - sometimes with food and sometimes not, and both are okay.

16. My family is so proud of me! I love that!!

17. I have found that a nonfat cappucino with one pump of sugar-free hazelnut is a real treat and comes without the guilt of a mocha latte!

18. Movie popcorn is better without added butter and salt!

19. I have found that more and more restaurants now provide nutritional information.

20. The Ultimate U's Challenge is the best time and money I (and Tim) have EVER spent. And I LOVE my challenge friends, coach and supporters! They are simply the best!

21. Attending U University (the challenge graduate school) every week will keep me on track for life.

22. I am halfway to my lifetime goal - in less than a year - and THAT is something to celebrate. Each day just gets better and better.

Knock me over with a feather...

Who would have imagined that I, the girl with 70 more pounds to lose, could inspire someone to eat healthier and drop a few pounds. Certainly not me. And yet, it is so!

I was talking to my sister, Barb, this week and she filled me in on what her hubby Steve is doing. He has taken to heart my healthier ways and my weight loss and has become inspired to do the same. Shoot - I didn't even know he knew (they live in Wisconsin and I haven't seen them for quite awhile). But apparently Barb told him and it has effected a change in his life. And with the great cook that my sister Barb is, that is a huge decision. Way to go Steve - and way to go Barb for being so supportive!

Makes me want to stand up a bit straighter and reach for the light balsamic vinaigrette, folks!

Don't rain on my parade

Some days I skip along through my life - and progress comes and progress wanes - and it doesn't slow me down a bit. But there are some days it is as if I am wearing concrete galoshes and trying to lift one foot seems impossible. And thankfully, the concrete galoshes days don't last.

The last month has been one of concrete galoshes. My ankle and foot ache, and my hip is keeping me in constant pain. My workouts have been less than I wish due to those issues and it is quite frustrating to me - I want to push ahead and get past this - yet my body just won't let me. Throw in the holidays and family pressures and I just really feel defeated...and in search of my next hit of so desperately needed serotonin. Too often I have searched the cupboards to fill that need. On the other hand, completely denying the need only snowballs into failure (and back into the cupboards). I'm learning - fill the need and move on. Eat a healthy snack if I'm hungry to derail the need to graze later.

But today, the galoshes are off and I am again moving forward. I have made so much progress and to deny myself the feeling of that victory would be just wrong. I'm on a right path to my future.

Back in the hunt

I really have had a nagging worry that perhaps my forward stead would collapse once I completed the Ultimate U Challenge. That worry, my friends, has been put to rest. Last night, for the first time, I attended U University and I have been spurred on to further success. I am ever so thankful that my wellness coaching will continue with Zoe and others who have completed the challenge.

I am energized and thankful for finding the wonderful folks at the Ultimate U. I am even more thankful to my God for getting me to a place where I can tackle all of these weight and lifestyle issues and I'm even more thankful that he has promised to keep hold of my hand until I do.

I still am working on taking off the holiday excesses (with slow but steady progress), but I just KNOW that I will be successful. It really is amazing to me to see where I've come in such a short period of time - I lost 76.4 pounds from Feb. 25 to Dec. 17. That is nothing short of a miracle!

Exhale...

Take a deep breath - we are now into the New Year. Exhale. I need to remember that if I can just keep breathing I can accomplish anything and everything.

The holidays were a whirlwind - fun and surprising. My stamina amazes me these days. I've shoveled snow without being winded, shopped at Easton until the cash ran out, baked until the whole house had that heady, holiday sugary smell, worked out regularly even when I didn't have the time and made wise food choices along with some not-so-wise, but oh, so, pleasurable. But, it's a new year and I'm not facing it in a panic as I have in the past. 2011 is about staying the course for me - the new course adopted last year.

I just finished my almost year-long wellness challenge at the Ultimate U with three other very capable contenders this week. Wow. Graduated into wellness. Are we done "contending?" Certainly, not. But have we crossed the threshold from unhealthy to healthy? You betcha we have. 2011 will be about fine-tuning for me. I hope to get a better handle on nutrition, stepping up my work-outs, and losing 40 more pounds this year, all the while trying to eat at home a bit more (it's just soooo much better for us all).

I look forward to this year - new challenges yet unseen, more weight loss, a leaner body and of course, more wellness coaching from Zoe at U University at the Ultimate U to further encourage and enlighten me in my quest for health and happiness.

And, if you notice the earth shift on the morning of January 15 - it will just be me taking my first Zumba dance class!

Happy New Year to you all!