Stretch

I came to a disturbing conclusion this past weekend. I could be characterized as a hermit crab (the crab part for sure!) for so many different reasons. Allow me to explain.

When my brother was young he owned hermit crabs from time to time; but I could never understand why he wanted them. They couldn't talk to you, sit next to you, take a walk with you and I just found them strange. Their aquariums had to be cleaned, they had a musty smell and would pinch your fingers if you came too close. Not much value for a pet or a friend in my book..

A hermit crab moves about very tentatively, instinctively diving back into its shell for cover whenever it is approached, returning to a false sense of safety. Silly little beings - once they are in their shells thinking they are safe, it is easy for someone to pick them up and put them wherever. Not much safety for them in that.

This weekend I realized my home has become my shell. For the past few months when approached by my friends with the best of intentions, I have been hiding in my shell, choosing to refuse invitations to get together or do something fun. It is a real stretch to allow myself to leave the house. I have been turned topsy-turvy by life of late and I run back into my shell constantly slamming the door shut on the possibility of an enjoyable afternoon or evening shared with friends.

This shell of mine is dark and lonely, makes me sad and cuts me off from those I love, but I am so afraid to experience what life might have for me right now, so afraid that more hurt may come. But hiding in my house doesn't offer much hope for a life well-lived. So this past weekend, just once, I changed my mind about an invitation I automatically dismissed. I chose to call my friend back and ask if the opportunity to get together was still a possibility - and, of course, it was. We spent the evening together, laughing, talking and enjoying each other's company while watching a ridiculously funny movie.

Even and especially in hard times, God calls us to community - even when it appears scary.

“As I sink in despair, my spirit ebbing away,

    you know how I’m feeling,
Know the danger I’m in,
    the traps hidden in my path.
Look right, look left—
    there’s not a soul who cares what happens!
I’m up against it, with no exit—
    bereft, left alone.
I cry out, God, call out:
    ‘You’re my last chance, my only hope for life!’
Oh listen, please listen;
    I’ve never been this low.
Rescue me from those who are hunting me down;
    I’m no match for them.
Get me out of this dungeon
    so I can thank you in public.
Your people will form a circle around me
    and you’ll bring me showers of blessing!”
Psalm 142:3-7 (The Message)