Another Friday

Fridays. They used to hold such magic for me.  I texted my brother almost every Friday morning typing, "I love Fridays!" They signaled the end of the work week and I anticipated every weekend - planning free time with family and friends - taking the time to plan and cook for my family. Grilling was sometimes a twice-a-day event in those days. Gifts of love given freely. But those Fridays have long ago passed away. Almost like a death. And now, I go to work on Fridays, melancholic, wondering how I'm going to spend my time over the next couple of days and if things will ever reach a new normal. I can't remember the last time I happily texted my brother on Friday mornings.

And lest this become too depressing - you can rest assured I won't be cleaning to fill my hours; and, boy, does my apartment reflect that. But, I miss gardening, grilling, folding my family's warm and fresh laundry and sitting on my previously beloved porch with a book and a glass of iced tea, watching the neighborhood children play. Ah, carefree summers.

My child, my beloved daughter, is a college sophomore now - working all the precious hours she can fit in over the summer to earn her next year's spending money. Our schedules allow us to pass each other and pass the shared car keys back and forth from time to time - but her friends and work and time in swimming pools and hot tubs fill her days. As they should.

I know this is but a season and seasons change. Thankfully they change. I look forward to again have things to look forward to. I'm certain my days will look differently some day. But for now I fill my days with home groups, Bible study, prayer, church services and journaling to keep my head above water. All things I love but they are not enough. We were created to be relational people and for today I am in lack. But not for always.

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven.
Ecclesiastes 3:1