When hard days linger

I am so aware that this season of my life is a long and hard one. Some days - many days - it seems I am sinking deeper into an abyss than I ever thought possible. My heart is saddened, crushed by life's blows and sometimes, often, I think it will never end.

I tell myself to be more, praise and rejoice, lean into Him, be healed, seek His face, but still my heart is barely beating. The silence that surrounds me is deafening. My breathing is shallow and irregular. I am but a vapor that threatens to be gone when the next light breeze passes.

I know how the book of my life will end - reflecting His joy and glory. But today I would like to skip the rest of the chapters until that last one. Sadly, it is not an option.

Melancholy and grief make horrible friends yet I am dogged by them daily. I am weary and can no longer hold myself upright. I am hoping for a miracle that these days pass soon. It has been a long time since I have seen the sun.

He sent from on high, He took me; He drew me out of many waters. He delivered me from my strong enemy, And from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me. They confronted me in the day of my calamity,  But the Lord was my stay. He brought me forth also into a broad place; He rescued me, because He delighted in me. 
Psalm 18: 16-19 NASB